20 August 2008 - re-visited.
31 March 2008 - it's all like needles.
15 March 2008 - chronic anxiety attacks.
08 March 2008 - too much bullshit.
01 March 2008 - something abstract!
03 February 2008 - a different strip club.
17 January 2008 - i drink too much, sometimes.
04 December 2007 - methadone high; methadone withdrawal.
28 October 2007 - between the lines.
05 October 2007 - it's getting cold already.
04 October 2007 - for crying out loud.
19 September 2007 - drug problems.
28 September 2006 - long-handed free write, transferred here.
25 September 2006 - analysis of the current situation.
25 August 2006 - christ.
24 August 2006 - oh thoughts!
09 June 2006 - -
08 June 2006 - whatever.
10 May 2006 - revelation!
27 April 2006 - twisted young ladies.
04 April 2006 - hopping mouths!
22 February 2006 - christ, am i tired of this.
14 January 2006 - cheaters need not apply...
12 January 2006 - damn it!
23 December 2005 - shit adds up...
14 November 2005 - summary.
20 September 2005 - i never was consistent with...anything.
07 July 2005 - i can't fucking believe you.
03 July 2005 - back again...
19 April 2005 - no but i...
19 April 2005 - exposure
29 March 2005 - back...
22 November 2004 - come save me someone...
17 October 2004 - soft: lips and skin and hands and touch and kisses...soft girl.
11 October 2004 - kinda high, kinda low, kinda...
08 October 2004 - s.o.s.
16 September 2004 - i know you hear me i can taste it in your tears
18 August 2004 - updates...
20 July 2004 - twenty-six days.
23 June 2004 - we're all Big Kids now
28 May 2004 - -
19 May 2004 - &i miss you like the deserts miss the rain
28 April 2004 - ...reality check.
03 April 2004 - delusional
20 March 2004 - ecstasy kills. slowly.
11 March 2004 - i miss you, damn it
08 March 2004 - ess
08 March 2004 - -
06 October 2092 - meaning of life is nothing
23 February 2004 - ecstasy kills seratonin
01 February 2004 - JUST WANT TO FUCKING FEEL ALIVE AGAIN
31 January 2004 - new house
25 January 2004 - real live suicide
19 January 2004 - stop drop & roll
18 January 2004 - rolled so hard.....
10 January 2004 - down and down and DOWN we go
04 January 2004 - deathwish
02 January 2004 - resolution: stop doing ecstasy [but i wished for it while i was rolling...doesn't count]
13 December 2003 - pep talk [samantha it is OH.KAY]
07 December 2003 - dontbringflowers when I'm dying
01 December 2003 - oh i am dying here
23 November 2003 - eff. you. see. kay. ::: why. oh. you.
19 November 2003 - four.letter.words.
12 November 2003 - RDB
07 November 2003 - Down down down again
02 November 2003 - Oedipus was right
16 October 2003 - You
07 October 2003 - Update
16 September 2003 - -
05 September 2003 - Mania-inspired
04 September 2003 - Taste of heaven
02 September 2003 - N.
27 August 2003 - Without you...
26 August 2003 - I miss you
22 August 2003 - Not mutually exclusive
19 August 2003 - As ashes to dust
16 August 2003 - Sleep dep: defcon 3
02 August 2003 - M.D.
26 July 2003 - -
18 July 2003 - FUCK YOU
14 July 2003 - Cradle of Filth concert
01 July 2003 - hsiw edicius
21 June 2003 - Anger management
12 June 2003 - Skin absorbancy
09 June 2003 - Rave
28 May 2003 - Womb of submission
23 May 2003 - Manic
11 May 2003 - Intensity
28 April 2003 - I FUCKING HATE MYSELF
19 April 2003 - Techniques
15 April 2003 - Home away from home
07 April 2003 - Remembrance
03 April 2003 - Vancouver, BC
29 March 2003 - "Keep me warm in the back of your mind..."
23 March 2003 - Remember when...
March 21, 2003 - Take as needed
March 17, 2003 - Drugged
March 15, 2003 - Boiled
March 04, 2003 - Never an option
March 02, 2003 - Dissolve + break down + disintegrate
February 25, 2003 - Asphyxiation
February 20, 2003 - Sleep deprivation
February 18, 2003 - "Wither with me..."
February 14, 2003 - Happy Bloody Valentine's Day
February 08, 2003 - Choking on loneliness / despair
February 05, 2003 - Meaningless
January 30, 2003 - No more reasons
January 26, 2003 - Like a predator
January 24, 2003 - Disappearances
January 18, 2003 - No rest for the wicked, baby
January 16, 2003 - Artifical purity
January 13, 2003 - Feel
January 08, 2003 - Library
January 05, 2003 - Dear Michelle:
January 02, 2003 - Affront
January 01, 2003 - Sometimes
December 29, 2002 - Heartache
December 27, 2002 - THIS plus THAT equals ZERO
December 24, 2002 - Old
December 22, 2002 - Survival of the fittest
December 16, 2002 - "A friend who bleeds is better..."
December 09, 2002 - FILTH UNREAL RAZORS
December 08, 2002 - "Something waits for you to breathe again..."
December 04, 2002 - Loss
December 02, 2002 - Damned
December 01, 2002 - "Give in, give in for my touch, for my taste, for my lust..."
November 27, 2002 - Talks
November 25, 2002 - "Humble and helpless learning to pray..."
November 24, 2002 - Rules
November 21, 2002 - Hunger
November 19, 2002 - Incapable
November 16, 2002 - Laser show
November 12, 2002 - Sex, drugs, and rock 'n roll
November 11, 2002 - "It must be cold there..."
November 07, 2002 - Two-way street
November 06, 2002 - Long distance fucking sucks
November 05, 2002 - "Human junk, just words and so much skin..."
November 02, 2002 - "When you are miserable, know that I'm just fine..."
October 31, 2002 - Happy Halloween
October 27, 2002 - "I'd love to pull the wires from the wall..."
October 24, 2002 - Futile
October 23, 2002 - "You touch my hand and it's not the same..."
October 22, 2002 - Ignore me
October 18, 2002 - With[out] intent to kill
October 16, 2002 - "I can't seem to hold onto my sanity..."
October 15, 2002 - Thrown together
October 13, 2002 - "For the day thou see my face, thou shalt die..."
October 10, 2002 - "In lustful passion I shall bathe in their blood..."
October 08, 2002 - Start with the bleeding
October 07, 2002 - Atleast he says he "cares"
October 06, 2002 - "My pain disappears as I lay with you..."
October 05, 2002 - Angst angst angst
October 04, 2002 - What's in a name
October 03, 2002 - Morning rambling
October 02, 2002 - Photo
October 01, 2002 - New toys
September 29, 2002 - Lack of something
September 29, 2002 - Stained
September 28, 2002 - Your fault
September 26, 2002 - Orgasmic
September 25, 2002 - "In an instant, distant sorrow, like there's no tomorrow..."
September 24, 2002 - Pointless nothing
September 23, 2002 - Familiarity
September 22, 2002 - Malnutrition
September 20, 2002 - "There's no love in fear..."
September 19, 2002 - On the mend
September 15, 2002 - Sickness
September 14, 2002 - Written in a journal
September 10, 2002 - Wash away the dirty
September 10, 2002 - "This thing inside of me, it screams the loudest sound..."
September 08, 2002 - Phone calls
September 05, 2002 - First day back
September 03, 2002 - Short letter
September 02, 2002 - Riot for freedom
August 30, 2002 - "Thought we both could use a friend to run to..."
August 28, 2002 - "I love you, I hate you, I miss you..."
August 25, 2002 - Pretending
August 24, 2002 - Long and hard
August 21, 2002 - "Nothing can stop me now, cuz I just don't care..."
August 20, 2002 - Reality
August 15, 2002 - Old faces, old wounds
August 14, 2002 - Jesus eats my cunt
August 13, 2002 - Cinderella's soul
August 12, 2002 - "Cuz there is nothing left to lose..."
August 09, 2002 - So very excited
August 07, 2002 - Better than prescription drugs
August 06, 2002 - Tolerance
August 03, 2002 - "You're blinded by romance, you're blinded by science..."
August 02, 2002 - Can I stay with you?
July 31, 2002 - No affection
July 28, 2002 - Little conversations and things
July 27, 2002 - I am fucking filthy
July 26, 2002 - Something for all of you
July 25, 2002 - Going out tonight
July 24, 2002 - A present for me
July 24, 2002 - What is smiling
July 23, 2002 - Playing perfect
July 21, 2002 - "I wish that I could hold you..."
July 18, 2002 - "For one chance, one kiss, one taste of you, my black Madonna..."
July 17, 2002 - Why even bother sleeping
July 15, 2002 - Slipping away
July 14, 2002 - Catch a glimpse inside
July 12, 2002 - What I am
July 11, 2002 - "Alas my love, ye do me wrong, to cast me out discourteously..."
July 09, 2002 - "Bless me, undress me, pick your prey in a wicked way..."
July 04, 2002 - Happy Fourth
July 03, 2002 - Forgetfulness
July 02, 2002 - Poor marks for me
June 30, 2002 - Happy birthday to me, I guess
June 29, 2002 - Entry number two hundred
June 27, 2002 - "Help me, I broke apart my insides..."
June 24, 2002 - "She wants to be a fallen angel, without the swollen scars..."
June 20, 2002 - Falling apart
June 17, 2002 - Hatred
June 16, 2002 - Weekend description
June 13, 2002 - Old conversations and things
June 12, 2002 - Small comforts are never enough
June 11, 2002 - Silver platters and filth
June 10, 2002 - Nothing too much
June 10, 2002 - Tardy
June 09, 2002 - Addition
June 09, 2002 - Downtown Seattle exploits
June 08, 2002 - Sleep deprivation
June 06, 2002 - Long entry about nothing
June 05, 2002 - "Time is like a knife for me now..."
June 04, 2002 - Coffins and exhaustion
June 04, 2002 - Tears turned into dust
June 03, 2002 - Monotony
June 03, 2002 - Compulsive
June 02, 2002 - Cold and lonely
June 01, 2002 - I am undead
May 28, 2002 - My thoughts in a blender
May 28, 2002 - Needing
May 26, 2002 - To whom it may concern
May 26, 2002 - Draw a picture
May 24, 2002 - "Without you, the poetry within me is dead..."
May 23, 2002 - "We got our A-B-C's and our F-U-C-K..."
May 23, 2002 - Fake flowers
May 22, 2002 - Too close to home
May 21, 2002 - Cure for the itch inside
May 20, 2002 - I feel incomplete
May 20, 2002 - Hair dye
May 19, 2002 - "May her cursed beauty hunt me forever..."
May 19, 2002 - Responsible for myself
May 18, 2002 - Spiraling back down
May 16, 2002 - Meaningless
May 15, 2002 - Stop breathing, damnit
May 15, 2002 - Wasting time
May 14, 2002 - "Go ahead and cut me, I can't even feel it anymore..."
May 13, 2002 - "Willst du bis zum tod der scheide..."
May 12, 2002 - Over heating
May 09, 2002 - Nothings
May 08, 2002 - Decomposition
May 08, 2002 - Itchy scars
May 07, 2002 - Metaphors
May 07, 2002 - Metal music revolution
May 06, 2002 - "Possessed by the search for utter darkness..."
May 05, 2002 - "Do unto others what has been done to you..."
May 03, 2002 - Party from hell
May 03, 2002 - Soft and smooth
May 02, 2002 - Idiotic
May 01, 2002 - Chaotic bliss
April 30, 2002 - Garbage disposal
April 29, 2002 - "I want to rip his heart out just for hurting you..."
April 28, 2002 - Reality hits
April 27, 2002 - Lack of anything better to do
April 26, 2002 - Icecream, ultimate stress reliever
April 23, 2002 - Slipping away
April 21, 2002 - A little insane, perhaps?
April 20, 2002 - "Saved" by the phone...sadly
April 19, 2002 - Aspirations for adulthood
April 19, 2002 - Boredom from insomnia
April 18, 2002 - Anti-, de-, un-
April 18, 2002 - Update...I'm oh-so boring
April 18, 2002 - "Bleeding together in the biting snow..."
April 16, 2002 - Deeper into the neighborhood of forgotten memories
April 15, 2002 - Journey down memory lane
April 15, 2002 - "When I have to die, then I want to cut my veins on your lips..."
April 13, 2002 - Dances with blood
April 13, 2002 - "Long fingernails dug in my skin..."
April 11, 2002 - Expose the burgundy mess
April 10, 2002 - Apathy
April 10, 2002 - "Naïve little pieces of what they tried to teach her..."
April 09, 2002 - Je veux me couper
April 08, 2002 - Loser loser loser
April 07, 2002 - Deny everything you see
April 04, 2002 - "She wants you to eat her pain..."
April 03, 2002 - How I wish for death
April 02, 2002 - Personal inadequacy
April 01, 2002 - Alone time is good
March 31, 2002 - Easter is dangerous to my health
March 31, 2002 - My morning, my life
March 29, 2002 - Selfish desires
March 28, 2002 - Delay the healing process
March 27, 2002 - Pain in everything
March 26, 2002 - "I amar prestar aen."
March 23, 2002 - Contradictions
March 23, 2002 - Illness
March 22, 2002 - "There's always a way to forget..."
March 22, 2002 - Spring is...
March 20, 2002 - One hundred steps closer to my madness
March 19, 2002 - My failing determination
March 19, 2002 - Razor flesh
March 18, 2002 - My downward spiral
March 17, 2002 - "Couldn't you wash the blood away..."
March 16, 2002 - Emotions
March 15, 2002 - Caffeine induced
March 13, 2002 - Quite literally, nothing
March 12, 2002 - Vile fluids burning me away
March 11, 2002 - Exposure to my darkest thoughts
March 16, 2002 - Nine Inch Nails bliss
March 10, 2002 - "Is this blood on my hands all for you..."
March 10, 2002 - Solitary confinement
March 10, 2002 - Lemonade and narcotics
March 09, 2002 - "And all I can think of are ways to die alone..."
March 09, 2002 - Falling into blackened oblivion
March 08, 2002 - Descend into darkness
April 06, 2002 - Nightmare
March 08, 2002 - "She doesn't want to fight against the tide..."
March 08, 2002 - Frozen ground and frozen brain
March 07, 2002 - See my agony
March 06, 2002 - The Insanity of Super Neurotic Grrl, Volume One
March 05, 2002 - Empty eloquence
March 04, 2002 - Kaleidoscope
March 30, 2002 - Analyzation
March 04, 2002 - Peel away the layers
March 03, 2002 - Drill a hole into my skull
March 02, 2002 - "She said 'kill me faster' with strawberry gashes all over..."
March 02, 2002 - Information for future blackmail
March 01, 2002 - Longing for something to hold on to
February 28, 2002 - "Baby's got a problem, tries so hard to hide..."
February 27, 2002 - Careless
February 26, 2002 - "Every night I sweat and bleed in her name..."
February 25, 2002 - My desperation
February 24, 2002 - "Cloak me in cold darkness, and let me disappear..."
February 23, 2002 - Razorbladed tongue
February 23, 2002 - Indulgence in selfishness and pity
March 25, 2002 - Last night description
February 22, 2002 - "Oh my beautiful liar, oh my precious whore..."
February 21, 2002 - Random words to fill the awkward silence
February 20, 2002 - "Every day I hope and pray that this will end..."
February 11, 2002 - Vampires and stars
February 10, 2002 - "When I'm dead I won't feel any pain..."
February 09, 2002 - My escape
February 09, 2002 - Jaded
February 06, 2002 - "Anything you ask, you know I'll do..."
April 21, 2002 - "You should've never looked inside..."
February 01, 2002 - "One more medicated, peaceful moment..."
January 31, 2002 - Arguments inside my mind
January 29, 2002 - "Inside my shell I wait and bleed..."
January 28, 2002 - "I jumped in to save a girl..."
January 27, 2002 - Dissection of my brain
January 30, 2002 - Story time
January 26, 2002 - "If I die tonight, would you hold my hand..."
January 23, 2002 - Make way for death
January 22, 2002 - We all die eventually
January 21, 2002 - Walk with me into darkness
January 20, 2002 - Late night mumbling
January 18, 2002 - Wrap myself in my cocoon
January 17, 2002 - Clouded with lack of sleep
January 16, 2002 - Random words from the sleep deprived
January 15, 2002 - "I've grown so fond of dread, that I swear it's heaven..."
January 14, 2002 - Soon-to-be panic attack
January 14, 2002 - Sick dedication...
January 12, 2002 - Beautiful misery
January 11, 2002 - Life, sacrificed for peace...
January 09, 2002 - Scar tissue heart
January 08, 2002 - Sleepy rambling
January 07, 2002 - Even deeper
March 21, 2002 - "My desire is stolen and it makes me feel ugly..."
January 06, 2002 - Nothing of importance
January 05, 2002 - Painted in sin
January 03, 2002 - A nightmare of living
January 02, 2002 - I'll bleed for you, if you'll just let me
December 29, 2001 - ...edicius...
January 01, 2002 - "The future dyed in fresh blood..."
December 27, 2001 - Hopelessness
December 26, 2001 - Ugly temptations
December 28, 2001 - Closer...
February 02, 2002 - Some of my salvation is drying up
December 22, 2001 - Fucked in the head
December 21, 2001 - Bad...
December 20, 2001 - Je suis rien
December 17, 2001 - Whispered thoughts
December 12, 2001 - Rambling
December 13, 2001 - Alone, dying
December 10, 2001 - Help...
December 09, 2001 - Sleepless nothings
December 25, 2001 - "Ho ho ho..." "Don't call me a hoe, damnit!"
December 07, 2001 - Exposure
December 06, 2001 - Dare you...?
December 05, 2001 - Wade into the cold waters of my mind
December 19, 2001 - Blah blah blah...
December 04, 2001 - Empty
December 03, 2001 - Je suis morte
February 04, 2002 - Confessions, nailpolish, and caffeine pills
December 23, 2001 - How do you measure insanity...
November 30, 2001 - See through me...
December 14, 2001 - Exhaustion brings about "fun" things
January 24, 2002 - Stereotypical
January 10, 2002 - Innocence lost
April 01, 2002 - "How far will a falling star take me..."
March 15, 2002 - "Manic queen of depression..."
February 05, 2002 - Plastic knives and stabs of pain
February 20, 2002 - The nothing that is me